Real World D.C. Review – Episode Three

The episode starts with the scuttlebutt of the Ty and Emily hook up still making the rounds of the house. Ashley is all for it, as she’s already making wedding plans, with her as a brideswoman. For some reason, based on track records of real world relationships, I have doubts it will get that far. Call me crazy. Ashley is fully committed to this relationship, probably more than Emily or Ty, as she is offering advice to him, most importantly to end his relationship with his ex, probably a good idea. When Ty tries to talk to her, though, it hits the fan and she hangs up on him. Guess it’s Emily or bust, right?

Emily and Ty are dominating this episode, as now the whole break is about them, besides a casual discussion of Callie’s “junk in the trunk” between Andrew and Josh. Hey look, the first Josh mention in two episodes. Show’s you who the real stars of the show are. At the club, Ty watches helplessly as Emily rubs up on and shows interest in a bunch of dudes. Any coincidence that they all look like Ty? When they get back, Ty and Emily engage in a show of strength and a flurry of sexual tension filled comments that ends with Emily spitting in Ty’s face. Oh crap!

I’ve got to say Emily is my least favorite character, as she seems condescending and mean. She seems to look at herself as above everyone and likes to act cool and a “free spirit”. Whatever.

Ty wants to end the tension and just go to sleep with Emily, but she’s having none of it. Ty goes full creeper mode, refusing to get out of her bed until Emily leaves. Eventually he gives up, and goes to sleep. Ty is sort of like Emily, as he acts full of himself, but unlike her he can’t take verbal abuse.

Erika (Another guest appearance by one of the lesser characters) wants to know what happened last night, and when the discussion comes up, Ty and Emily realize it was a drunken spat and they regain their position as power couple. Hooray! Later on at lunch, Ty makes the remark that Callie is not skinny enough to be a playboy playmate. True, but don’t say that to her dude. She goes in full self-conscious mode and we get the discussion on women’s bodies until Ty sits down to one of the most uncomfortably awkward silences that I’ve seen.

Callie and the rest of the girls talk to Ty and tell him that he’s being a jerk, which is true, and that he needs to think about what he says before he says it. Callie is obviously insecure about her weight, and Emily lays it out that she needs to be treated differently and orders Ty to go apologize.

Side note: Where are these people’s jobs? Every season the castmates get a job, in order to properly show, uhh, the REAL WORLD! Usually the jobs are introduced in the first episode or so, but these kids are deep into the third and I’ve seen no mention.

Ty apologizes to Callie, and now Callie has her own break to discuss her weight issues. This is great, but it all seemed the same to me, and I kinda tuned out. Sorry.

African dance moves ensue and the girls are actually bonding. Of course, though, we have to end the episode with Emily and Ty. I’ve had enough. There better be big blowup soon or I might have to focus on different people. With the attention that everyone else gets from the cameras, this review might turn into one paragraph.

Alright, catch you next episode. Keep it real.-DaneKnows

Jersey Shore Reaction-Episode 5

I did not have my computer with me when I watched this weeks episode of Jersey Shore So that means I didn’t do a running reaction. Anyways, this last weeks episode I feel was the best one so far. It had everything you need to make a great reality show– drama, fights, and The Situation. I laughed for minutes at the fact that Sammie got infuriated with Ronnie because he made fun of her big toe. Really Sammi? That’s like me getting really riled up at on of my friends because they said I have big ears. CALM DOWN!

“I’ll suck your big toe right now, I don’t give a shit.”-Actual quote by Ronnie…….Ew. I threw up in my mouth a little after Ronnie whispered that into Sammi’s ear. MTV ATTENTION!!! WE DON’T CARE ABOUT RONNIE AND SAMMI’S RELATIONSHIP!! We want more of The Situation. The Rommi relationship almost breaks up every episode, and I am sick of it.

I don’t understand how one group of people always manages to find a way to get into a fight whenever they go out into public. After a while (and I mean you Snooki), you need to realize maybe you are the problem and that is why you alway get into fights. I hope the cast never does realize this though because the more fights, the more enjoyable the show is. That’s a fact. Ronnie and his Brock Lesnar impersonation on some 30-year-old guy was jaw-dropping. I got out of my seat at every punch that was delivered to the older, bald mans face. This show is becoming borderline epic. I can’t wait for next weeks episode. Stay tuned.-FitzyKnows

Real World D.C. Episode Review – Episode Two

Sorry I couldn’t write a review for the debut episode of the Washington D.C. season of Real World, but by the time I saw it was almost time for this episode! I’ll try to summarize it for you, though: the roommates are introduced, Andrew the Spaz acts goofy, rooms are picked, Andrew the Spaz acts goofy, they go eat, Mike reveals himself to be gay, God is heatedly debated between Mike and Ty (BTW, his name is Ty Ruff. If that’s not fake I don’t know what is.), and we get the typical Real World end-of-episode make up that all the regular watchers have become accustomed to.

Now, on to the task at hand, as the roommates have settled into out nation’s capital. Ashley starts off by giving her friend on the phone and everyone at home a basic review of each roommate. We get some lame bonding type of activities as I think to myself, the people on the Jersey Shore don’t run into a pile of bean bags when they want to relive stress. Maybe I’m watching the wrong show. We then get the interactions between Callie, the innocent blonde girl, and Andrew the Spaz, who is obviously attracted to Callie, but I think he would be attracted to anything with a pulse or a panda hat. Good line from Andrew though: “She is my whale, and I’m her Moby Dick. Wait, was Moby Dick the whale? Okay, I’m Captain Ahab, and she’s my dick.” Yeah…

Emily talks to Ashley about her cult-upbringings, but Ashley is more interested in the forbidden fruit of Mike, her mostly gay roommate. Relationships form between Ashley and Mike, Ty and Emily, and Andrew and Callie. Ashley fulfills her desires and makes out with Mike at the club! Make up your mind dude. Emily and Ty have some love-hate moments, but you can tell something big is going to happen, and soon. We cut to the bed, where fresh off of making out in the club with Ashley, Mike is talking about his boyfriend to her! Are you going for Ashley, or your boyfriend? His visit should prove interesting.

We then get a montage of the roommates going to random places. A barbeque? Okay. A bus with a stripper pole? Sure, let’s do that. A boat? Yeah! Of course Andrew manages to get shut down by Callie at all opportunities. Back at the house, the sexual tension between Ty and Emily boils over until they’re sleeping together. “You will never get this!”

Gay bar time! The usual Real World dress up for the gay bar happens. They get to the bar, and this is like Mike in a candy store. He seems overwhelmed, and no time at all for Ashley to even get on his radar. She is preturbed.

Mike and his new friend, Robbie, come home and proceed to make out on the pool table. Andrew keeps pushing the issue with Callie only to get rejected. It seems like he notices Ty and Emily making a connection and he wants one too. That’s fine, but when it’s obviously not working, you eventually need to move on.

Mike then goes to his Human Rights meeting, where he interviews for a job. I think he’s the most well-rounded kid in the house, and so far he seems like his priorities are straight, even while he might not be. That night at the club, ANDREW, of all people, snags a reasonably attractive girl. What the F? He then takes his prey to the famous hot tub, and Andrew looks like a stud right now. Never thought I would say that.

When we get back from break, what do we see? Andrew taking his girl to bed! Too bad the girls take it upon themselves to ruin the moment and force the girl to leave. Andrew is left dumbfounded. The next day, he confronts them about it but they turn it around and call Andrew’s girl names. Typical. Emily’s sister than comes and they talk about her love affair with Ty.

Ashley and Mike talk about their club make out session, with Andrew creepily looking on. I’m personally hoping for Mike to switch teams and get with Ashley, as that’s obviously what she wants. Emily then receives a e-mail from her sister talking about how she has left her family hanging back at home. Obviously they don’t know that when you have the chance to room with Andrew, you’ve got to do it. Ty allows her to blow off some steam by sleeping with her. That’ll do it.

I’ll try to be more timely with my reviews this week. Keep it real
-DaneKnows

Jersey Shore Reaction-Episode 4

It has been far too long. Two Weeks. But as always….the Jersey Shore Running Reaction. Enjoy.

• The Situation is still trying to get with a girl after Snooki got punched. No one said there were morals at the Jersey Shore.
• The whole house is kind of pissed at The Situation because he is the reason Snooki got punched in the face. Is bad blood building in the house?
• “Thats not a good friend. And you are a good friend”- Sammi Sweetheart to Ronnie.
• Ronnie’s parents are visiting! I guess Ronnie got the rhino looking part from his mom.
• Snook’s face is swollen! I don’t think I could have taken that punch as well as she did. She’s a champ.
• I really like Ronnie. Out of the four guys he seems like the only one who could actually have done something with his life without this show.
• Voice message at the house: The guy who punched Snooki was released on bail…….hmmm…
• Sammi…. don’t fall in love on the Jersey Shore.
• Pauly D just got a DJ gig at a club. The Situation looks so much older than everyone else at the house.
• “When I see animals I don’t kill them”- actual quote by Snooki.
• “I tried to eat, but I couldn’t stick it in my freakin’ mouth cuz I’m disabled”- actual quote by Snooki.
• I love The Situation but……. come on man pick up your own plate.
• It’s really weird when the cast calls Snooki by her real name Nicole. If I was the guy that punched Snooki I would be terrified of Ronnie.
• “I’m not sure If my hair is bullet proof, I’m not willing to try that”- actual quote by Pauly D.
• Ronnie is wearing a shirt with giant angel wings on the back of it. SWEEEEEEETTTTTTT!
• “Who’s your fat friend?”- random girl at a club talking about Snooki.
• “I would have tried to upper cut her, but at that point I had too many bouncers on me”- actual quote by Jwoww.
• Pauly D and The Situation find out girls are talking about them being players. Obviously they are pumped about this!
• Snooki says she isn’t fat. Ugh…..yeah she is. Sorry.
• Damn, Pauly D doesn’t just have regular turn tables, he has the best turn tables.
• “9 out of 10 times I’m good with it”- actual quote by The Situation.
• The only thing Pauly D cares about is D.J.ing. Seriously.
• Danny took the Boss’s girl. Should more come from this? We will see….

The Rushmore Awards

When I was picking the top five rap/hip-hop songs it got me thinking– Who are the top four athletes this decade? Top four Movies? Top Four Albums? So during my long drive back from Disneyland with the family yesterday I brainstormed. They are no specific order, and basically this list is what I think are the best, not what you might think. Feel free to comment on what your Rushmore list looks like. Here are my Rushmore Awards for the decade…..Enjoy!

Top Four Movies:

• The Departed- Epic. Perfect Cast. Perfect Director. The perfect movie.
• The Dark Knight- This decade’s blockbuster. Has one of the greatest villains of all time including some of this decade best action scenes.
• Gladiator- Ridley Scott and Russel Crowe at their best. A breath-taking film with one of the strongest protagonist of all time.
• Lord Of The Rings (Series)- Every time I watch these movies I am in awe.

Top Four Athletes:

• Tiger Woods- “Athlete of the Decade” by the Associated Press. Only four golfers have won more tournaments in their CAREER than Tiger has won in the 2000s alone.
• Kobe Bryant- How many big shots does this guy have to make until people understand that he’s in the discussion with Jordan?
• Tom Brady- An MVP award, 50 touchdown passes in a season, four Pro Bowls, and oh yeah, three Super Bowl rings.
• Michael Phelps- 16 Olympic medals: six gold and two bronze at Athens in 2004, and eight gold at Beijing in 2008. Sorry Lance, but Phelps edges you out for the final spot.

Top Four Rappers:

• Kanye West- 12 Grammys, including three ‘Rap Album of the Year’ awards.
• Jay-Z- Is worth of $150 Million and has sold more than 30 million albums. The ROC is in the building.
• Lil’ Wayne- Tha Carter II and Tha Carter III took America by storm. One ‘Rap Album of the Year’ award and eight other Grammy nominations.
• Eminem- Other than Kanye, the only other rapper with three ‘Rap Album Of The Year’ awards.

Coming soon…..More Rushmore Awards.

-FitzyKnows

Jersey Shore Reaction-Episode 3

I missed the first ten minutes of the episode  because I was at work but as always…the running Jersey Shore blog- Episode 3. Enjoy.

• 8:17- Does anybody in this house have a cell phone? Jwoww always uses a land line to call her boyfriend. Who in the world doesn’t have a cell phone these days?
• 8:19- Would you wear any of the T-Shirts they sell at the store they  all work at? I know I wouldn’t.
• 8:21- “Your going to have sex if your attracted to someone. It’s natural”- actual quote by Sammi Sweetheart. Wow.
• 8:26- “If your not hitting the gym for like an hour, then you have a problem”- Actual quote by The Situation.
• 8:27- Ronnie broke his own rule: He fell in love at the Jersey Shore.
• 8:28-  Snooki said being away from her parents makes her feel like an adult. Isn’t she like 25??
• 8:33- Looks like the only move the cast has at the dance club is the dice move. Not very cool.
• 8:34- Even Pauly D calls The Situation The Situation. His real name is Mike by the way.
• 8:35- Whenever Pauly D and The Situation see girls they go to them. That is why I love Pauly D and The Situation.
• 8:36- The girls that Pauly D and The Situation brought back to the house don’t want to go in the jacuzzi. Come on Situation you can do better!
• 8:41- “Be quiet little tiny girl”- actual quote by The Situation. They throw the two girls out and invite two new girls up stairs. The Situation is one of the greatest characters in TV history.
• “Women are a game. It’s like a business”- actual quote by Pauly D.
• 8:45- Situation throw this blonde girl out! She’s annoying!
• 8:47- The episode is almost over and I’ve already almost forgotten that Angelina was on the show at one point.
• 8:51- Jwoww’s hair is gross.
• 8:53- Scene-to-scene, Snooki’s hair changes in the most ridiculous ways whenever she talks. It’s quite  funny.
• 8:55- Snooki’s real name is NICOLE!!!!! P.S. Snooki’s best friend is her mom….
• 9:00- SOME GUY AT THE BAR PUNCHED SOOKI!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOAAAAAA!!!!! WHATTTTT???!!!!!!- FitzyKnows

Jersey Shore Reaction-Episode 2

I’ve waited a week for this. Thursday night. Jersey Shore .Episode 2. I’m going to try something new for this episode- a running blog. Feedback would be great! If you like the running blog I’ll try to keep doing it. Enjoy!

• 10:02- Wow, I didn’t know she could look any grosser , but Jwoww looks extra gross right when she wakes up. I literally cringed when she came on the screen.
• 10:03- The Situation just stated he can get any girl he wants. I LOVE THE SITUATION.
• 10:04- I’m having a tough time deciding who is grosser- Snooki or Jwoww. I’m leaning towards Snooki at the moment. She looks like Babe the pig.
• 10:06- ATTENTION: Jwoww is Ronnie’s go to girl! Thanks for telling us that Ronnie! P.S. I love Ronnie’s laugh. Please tell me it’s a real laugh.
• 10:11- Jwoww’s boyfriend is visiting her at the house. Little does he know that Jwoww cheated on him with Pauly D…
• 10:14- Some guy named Mike hooks up with Sooki…eh…Sick. “I think I just broke up with my boyfriend”- Actual quote by Angelina. It ends up that Angelina’s boyfriend is actually married….Where does MTV find these people??? Man I love this show.
• 10:21- Jwoww’s boyfriend just layed the layed down the law, “If you ever do something stupid I’m out.” OOOOOO how little does he know… “I guess I didn’t realize how much I cared about my boyfriend until he visited”- actual quote by Jwoww.
• 10:27- Oh no Angelina’s sad, she doesn’t want to work I officially hate Angelina. She is a drama queen and runs the “poor me” card nonstop.
• 10:30- On no Danny “The Boss” is pissed! And he should be because Angelina is an idiot. She didn’t show up to work because,”She doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want too.” I officially love The Boss. Laying down the law on Angelina.
• 10:35- Angelina has decided to leave. It seems like no one in the house really cares. “Go home”- actual quote by The Situation aimed towards Angelina.
• 10:39- Jwoww just told her boyfriend she cheated on him… He hangs up on her. “It’s bad news when I’m single”- Actuall quote by Jwoww.
• 10:45- Snooki and her friend try to start a dance party at a bar… no takers? I’m not surprised. Who would want to dance with a miniature pig? Not me.
• 10:46- “People get shocked when they see something like that”- Actual quote by The Situation when he’s talking about his abs. How can you not like The Situation?
• 10:48- Ronnie and Sammi say they are in love. Little do they know that theres no such thing as” love” in the Jersey Shore.
• 10:49- Snooki wanted to make out with someone so she decides to make out with her friend…p.s. her friends a girl.
• 10:50- THE SITUATION STARTS TO MAKE OUT WITH SNOOKI!!!!! Honestly I expected more out of you Situation. Snooki? Seriously?? Come on man.
• 10:55- Pauly put charcoal in a gas grill and caught the grill on fire… Once again MTV, where do you find these people???
• 10:59- Sammi sees Ronnie dancing with another girl so she decides to give her number to another guy. This does not make Ronnie happy. WE GOT SOME DRAMA HEADING INTO NEXT WEEKS EPISODE!!!

I hope you enjoyed the first running blog! Coming soon….Running Raw Reaction. Stay tuned!-FitzyKnows

Space Jam 2

As time goes on and  as I become older, I am starting to forget a lot of childhood memories. I don’t remember my first day of Kindergarten. I don’t remember the first time I ate Kraft Mac & Cheese. I don’t even remember my first time every playing Mario Kart! But there will always be one day that I will always remember– the first time I saw Space Jam. Now growing up I was always a Bugs Bunny kid. I would carry this old, raggedy Bugs Bunny plush doll every where I went. I cherished it. I loved it. It meant the world to me. Before I would go to school I would get my chores done, eat the delicious breakfast my mother would prepare for me, then watch an episode of The Looney Tunes. So obviously the day I first saw the movie trailer for Space Jam I was like, “Oh yeah.” (Yes I just used “like” in a blog post. It’s all that damn reality TV I watch! Another example of how MTV is making us stupid)

This is how well I remember the day I first saw Space Jam– I was in Kindergarten. Five days before Space Jam was going to hit the big screen my teacher, Mrs. Garza, said that whoever was the best behaved kid in the class would win this basket full of prizes at the end of the week. The prizes in the basket included candy, those little army men toys, a bucket of popcorn (Seriously, a bucket of popcorn. Those kind you can buy at Blockbuster), and…….wait for it…….Space Jam tickets. I seriously did not talk for a week. I WANTED THOSE SPACE JAM TICKETS! The end of the week finally came and it was time for Mrs. Garza to announce who had won the basket full of prizes. I was nervous. I wanted those tickets more than anything!! Have you ever had the wind knocked out of you? Not a good feeling right? Well the way I felt after Mrs. Garza handed that basket full of prizes with the Space Jam tickets inside  to some other kid in my Kindergarten class was the worst feeling I have ever felt. Worse than getting the wind knocked out of you. When my mom came to pick me up after school I was in tears. I cried and I cried. I wanted those tickets so bad! Then my mom told me this, “Don’t worry. I have tickets for us to see Space Jam in an hour.” YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! After a pit stop at a fast-food place that was serving Space Jam toys with the Kid Meals, my eyes had the pleasure of watching Space Jam for the first time ever. I assume this is the same feeling I’ll have when I meet my future wife.

Now Quinaldo, the newest writer to House’s Divided, and I have been talking about this for a long time— Why haven’t they made a Space Jam 2? The Tune Squad vs. The Monstars Game 2. Michael Jordan is obviously retired now so the Looney Tunes would need a new, marketable NBA player to take his place on the roster. This player could be either LeBron James, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, or my favorite candidate if this movie ever does get made, Kobe Bryant. I feel like this movie would make a ton of money and add some great, positive publicity to whatever player is in the movie. Yeah he might get ripped on by a few columnist, but honestly who cares what someone like Jay Mariotti thinks about you. They could even make the movie in 3D!! Honestly, is anyone against this idea???-FitzyKnows

Jersey Shore Reaction-Episode 1

Wow. That is what I have to say about MTV’s newest reality show ‘Jersey Shore.’ Wow. Jersey Shore is a television series on MTV that follows 8 housemates spending their summer on the Jersey Shore. In the show, it examines the lives of eight young Italian American adults living and vacationing on the various resort towns in the northern part of the Jersey Shore, more specifically the town of Seaside Heights, where they live in a common living space and help to run a t-shirt store. After only one episode I already have my hopes up for this show becoming the most entertaining show on TV. Already it is by far the most ridiculous and over-the-top show I have ever watched. The eight cast members are Jwoww, Angelina, Sammi Sweetheart, Snooki, Ronnie, Vinnie, Pauly D, and lastly, Mike “The Situation.”

None of the girls on the Jersey Shore are cute. Snooki looks like a little pig. I can already tell I am not going to like her. Jwoww is…… gross. I think that is all that needs to be said about her. Angelina was very annoying. I did like Sammi Sweetheart at first until she decided to break The Situation’s heart. Not a cool move by Sammi Sweetheart. NO ONE BREAKS THE SITUATIONS HEART! NO ONE! Overall I must say I dislike all four of the girls on the show.

“If you don’t like The Situation, Imma make you like The Situation”- actual quote by Mike “The Situation”

Every guy on the show is a juiced up, overly tan, too-much-gel wearing Guido that thinks he’s the greatest thing in Jersey Shore. Ronnie is a mountainous rock of a man who looks like he’s a regular juicer. Think of a rhinoceros………….now you kind of have an understanding of what Ronnie looks like. Vinnie is still kind of a mystery. The only significant air time he got on the show was when he got pink eye. Pauly D seems like a cool guy. Other than the fact that his hair was ridiculous he seems like a pretty cool dude. Now we come to The Situation. The Situation is the most arrogant, yet at the same time most insecure character on Reality TV I have ever seen. He talks like he’s God’s gift to the world one second, then next he is upset that a girl he was targeting all night hooked up with one of his friends. I am very intrigued to see how his character developes as the show proceeds, because as of the first episode, he is enough for me to tune in every Thursday. -FitzyKnows

Actual Quotes from the first episode of ‘Jersey Shore’-

• “I feel like eating ham and drinking water. Hammmmm. -JWOWW
• “I don’t give a if you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re 45 years old, I’ll dance with you.” – Vinnie
• “It only takes nine pounds of pressure to break a nose.” -Pauly D
• “I love the Situation.”, “This is the situation” -Mike “the Situation”
• “I feel like this is beneath me. I’m a bartender. I do great things.” -Angelina

Make sure to tune in for this weeks episode of…….Jersey Shore.

Never Doubt Good Directors

Obviously this is the trailer to the highly anticipated movie entitled ‘Avatar’. My first reaction to the trailer was, “Whoa, this looks like a movie that is trying waaaaaaaay too hard.” But if I know anything about movies it’s this- Never doubt good directors.It’s like betting against Peyton Manning with the spotlight on him or Michael Jordan back in the day.You just don’t do it! James Cameron is as good as they come. He’s the Michael Jackson (In my opinion at least) of movie directors. He’s directed Terminator, Terminator 2, Aliens, True Lies, and Titanic. You know what all of those movies have in common? They are all freaking awesome! A few years back when I first saw the trailer to Death Proof/Planet Terror my first reaction was, “Whoa, this movie looks like it’s trying waaaaaaaaay too hard.” A girl with a machine gun leg? Are you kidding me?? I was convinced by a friend to finally see the movie and guess what? I LOVED IT! It was directed by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. Both good directors. I should have never doubted a movie that was co-directed by the directors of Pulp Fiction and of Once Upon A Time In Mexico. So if your doubting this new Avatar movie I got news for you- DON’T! Trust me on this.-FitzyKnows.

 

“Some Peoples Trash Is Still Your Treasure”-QF