Emily and Ty are dominating this episode, as now the whole break is about them, besides a casual discussion of Callie’s “junk in the trunk” between Andrew and Josh. Hey look, the first Josh mention in two episodes. Show’s you who the real stars of the show are. At the club, Ty watches helplessly as Emily rubs up on and shows interest in a bunch of dudes. Any coincidence that they all look like Ty? When they get back, Ty and Emily engage in a show of strength and a flurry of sexual tension filled comments that ends with Emily spitting in Ty’s face. Oh crap!

I’ve got to say Emily is my least favorite character, as she seems condescending and mean. She seems to look at herself as above everyone and likes to act cool and a “free spirit”. Whatever.

Ty wants to end the tension and just go to sleep with Emily, but she’s having none of it. Ty goes full creeper mode, refusing to get out of her bed until Emily leaves. Eventually he gives up, and goes to sleep. Ty is sort of like Emily, as he acts full of himself, but unlike her he can’t take verbal abuse.

Erika (Another guest appearance by one of the lesser characters) wants to know what happened last night, and when the discussion comes up, Ty and Emily realize it was a drunken spat and they regain their position as power couple. Hooray! Later on at lunch, Ty makes the remark that Callie is not skinny enough to be a playboy playmate. True, but don’t say that to her dude. She goes in full self-conscious mode and we get the discussion on women’s bodies until Ty sits down to one of the most uncomfortably awkward silences that I’ve seen.

Callie and the rest of the girls talk to Ty and tell him that he’s being a jerk, which is true, and that he needs to think about what he says before he says it. Callie is obviously insecure about her weight, and Emily lays it out that she needs to be treated differently and orders Ty to go apologize.

Side note: Where are these people’s jobs? Every season the castmates get a job, in order to properly show, uhh, the REAL WORLD! Usually the jobs are introduced in the first episode or so, but these kids are deep into the third and I’ve seen no mention.

Ty apologizes to Callie, and now Callie has her own break to discuss her weight issues. This is great, but it all seemed the same to me, and I kinda tuned out. Sorry.

African dance moves ensue and the girls are actually bonding. Of course, though, we have to end the episode with Emily and Ty. I’ve had enough. There better be big blowup soon or I might have to focus on different people. With the attention that everyone else gets from the cameras, this review might turn into one paragraph.

Alright, catch you next episode. Keep it real.-DaneKnows

I guess he thought that since he was out of the public spotlight, he could just run away from his problems and all the questions. With his new job as the St. Louis Cardinal’s hitting coach, though, it must’ve felt like the right time to finally tell everyone what they already knew.-DaneKnows

“I’ll suck your big toe right now, I don’t give a shit.”-Actual quote by Ronnie…….Ew. I threw up in my mouth a little after Ronnie whispered that into Sammi’s ear. MTV ATTENTION!!! WE DON’T CARE ABOUT RONNIE AND SAMMI’S RELATIONSHIP!! We want more of The Situation. The Rommi relationship almost breaks up every episode, and I am sick of it.

I don’t understand how one group of people always manages to find a way to get into a fight whenever they go out into public. After a while (and I mean you Snooki), you need to realize maybe you are the problem and that is why you alway get into fights. I hope the cast never does realize this though because the more fights, the more enjoyable the show is. That’s a fact. Ronnie and his Brock Lesnar impersonation on some 30-year-old guy was jaw-dropping. I got out of my seat at every punch that was delivered to the older, bald mans face. This show is becoming borderline epic. I can’t wait for next weeks episode. Stay tuned.-FitzyKnows

Now, on to the task at hand, as the roommates have settled into out nation’s capital. Ashley starts off by giving her friend on the phone and everyone at home a basic review of each roommate. We get some lame bonding type of activities as I think to myself, the people on the Jersey Shore don’t run into a pile of bean bags when they want to relive stress. Maybe I’m watching the wrong show. We then get the interactions between Callie, the innocent blonde girl, and Andrew the Spaz, who is obviously attracted to Callie, but I think he would be attracted to anything with a pulse or a panda hat. Good line from Andrew though: “She is my whale, and I’m her Moby Dick. Wait, was Moby Dick the whale? Okay, I’m Captain Ahab, and she’s my dick.” Yeah…

Emily talks to Ashley about her cult-upbringings, but Ashley is more interested in the forbidden fruit of Mike, her mostly gay roommate. Relationships form between Ashley and Mike, Ty and Emily, and Andrew and Callie. Ashley fulfills her desires and makes out with Mike at the club! Make up your mind dude. Emily and Ty have some love-hate moments, but you can tell something big is going to happen, and soon. We cut to the bed, where fresh off of making out in the club with Ashley, Mike is talking about his boyfriend to her! Are you going for Ashley, or your boyfriend? His visit should prove interesting.

We then get a montage of the roommates going to random places. A barbeque? Okay. A bus with a stripper pole? Sure, let’s do that. A boat? Yeah! Of course Andrew manages to get shut down by Callie at all opportunities. Back at the house, the sexual tension between Ty and Emily boils over until they’re sleeping together. “You will never get this!”

Gay bar time! The usual Real World dress up for the gay bar happens. They get to the bar, and this is like Mike in a candy store. He seems overwhelmed, and no time at all for Ashley to even get on his radar. She is preturbed.

Mike and his new friend, Robbie, come home and proceed to make out on the pool table. Andrew keeps pushing the issue with Callie only to get rejected. It seems like he notices Ty and Emily making a connection and he wants one too. That’s fine, but when it’s obviously not working, you eventually need to move on.

Mike then goes to his Human Rights meeting, where he interviews for a job. I think he’s the most well-rounded kid in the house, and so far he seems like his priorities are straight, even while he might not be. That night at the club, ANDREW, of all people, snags a reasonably attractive girl. What the F? He then takes his prey to the famous hot tub, and Andrew looks like a stud right now. Never thought I would say that.

When we get back from break, what do we see? Andrew taking his girl to bed! Too bad the girls take it upon themselves to ruin the moment and force the girl to leave. Andrew is left dumbfounded. The next day, he confronts them about it but they turn it around and call Andrew’s girl names. Typical. Emily’s sister than comes and they talk about her love affair with Ty.

Ashley and Mike talk about their club make out session, with Andrew creepily looking on. I’m personally hoping for Mike to switch teams and get with Ashley, as that’s obviously what she wants. Emily then receives a e-mail from her sister talking about how she has left her family hanging back at home. Obviously they don’t know that when you have the chance to room with Andrew, you’ve got to do it. Ty allows her to blow off some steam by sleeping with her. That’ll do it.

I’ll try to be more timely with my reviews this week. Keep it real
-DaneKnows